I’m so devastated and confounded right now. I just need to rant it out.

I’m deeply hurt by the 3 you’s. I don’t know if I’m the one being sensitive but seriously, I’ve tried so hard not to. I didn’t expect all this to happen from you people, especially when you guys are the ones I loves so much. I’ve been trying to make all those negative stuff go away but I didn’t succeed. And now, I roughly have the idea why. I don’t want to keep forcing myself to be happy when I’m seriously not.

To the first you, I know I’m being too much. But to be honest, although I hardly ever show it, you’re just someone insensitive. You never really cared about my feelings. You say what you want to say like as though I don’t even have a heart. I’m not even sure if you know what I am talking about. And I guess you would only realize it when I, myself, tell you straight.

To the second you, if you think that I cried because of the chilli incident, you are wrong. It takes more than that to make me burst out crying in front of you. I just don’t know how to put it in words but one thing for sure, I’m freaking sad. To see your sulking face and your suddenly secretive behaviour after a long day of school is seriously disheartening. What you saw is just a glimpse. You have no idea how much tears I shed on my way home. And to know I have no one there to wipe it off, it is exactly the same situation as last week.

And to the third you, I’ve always thought you would be someone understanding. But you seriously hurt me with those words. Yes, I know you’ve apologized but saying sorry will not entirely change everything. You were mad at A for something she did in the past. But now, do you realise that you are doing exactly what A does, to me?

Gosh, I know all this will end soon but I’m not even sure if I can handle everything.

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